Magpies demand action on Penguin Refugee influx

The avarian world is in an uproar as the Magpies have reacted to the possible influx of Penguins seeking refugee status if mining goes ahead in Antarctica.
Sure you may say they are birds like us with feathers and wings and they have relatives here already. But a Fairy Penguin is not 1.2 metres tall and doesn't mass in huge mobs like their couzins the Emporer and Adele Penguins do. Our safety and way of life is under threat if these refugees are allowed access to our nation of native creature. Look at what happens when we allow foriegn species to exist on our land. The cane toad, water buffalo and camel are nothing but pests. Oh and the feathered pest equivalents of the Starling, Pigeon and Sparrow. No good will come of it we say.

Mind you! If we Magpies are given our identity and dignity back and the penguins replace us as the identifying totems of all fooball teams that currently abase us with using the 'magpie' image let them in we say, the more the merrier. What's that we hear? Protests that we are selfish and other native beatsies are used as totems, yeah right! The Kangaroos, Aussie rules and soccer teams, in return for that got a spot on the National Coat of Arms! With the Emu another bird that can't fly. The Kookaburra, the national hockey team, fair trade off for all the bloody songs they have about themselves. Look footy ain't rocket science, hell half of the football fraternity have problems pronouncing vowels. How about starting a national Space Program and making us Magpies the Totem Beastie for that? Yeah right can't afford it, gotta build 300 m of tram line down the middle of the mainstreet and then get better traffic and transport facilities for the crowds who go to Footy Park. Stuff it, look give us a few of these fishing boats that have been impounded and we'll go to Antarctica.

Thankyou for yor time and attention, Geoff

Mine Antarctica

Penguins Pissed Off - only have little legs how do we get outa the holes?
Barnaby Joyce, Queensland National Party MP has suggested mining Antarctica's resources. Let's be fair the guy is a politician so making a few fuktard comments is a part of his job.

Fellowship of the Bloggers

The nanny pansy fuktard race are a blight on having fun, adventure and free expression so the god wizard has decided they must be exterminated.

That was a satisfying entry into my diary yesterday. Now it may be that being informed by my courtiers that that my third favorite concubine had her post eaten by the NPF's has sparked this fit of pique. But I think that the posting of salacious details on meeting a busload of beaurocrats stranded on the roadside and plying them with intoxicants and photographing the resulting lack of responsiblity is vital to the well being of any society.

It is only through these acts that NPF's discover what fun is. Sitting on my carved crystal throne for hours on end listening to the prayers of the faithful can become dull. I'd much rather be out practising havoc and chaos. It's all far too formal separated from the supplicants by seventy seven wide spaced silk curtains unable to see anyone and hearing the prayer through speaking tubes winding to my throne room.

I wish I had put mouth pieces on my end and so tell them I have no interest in appeals for making better Bon Bon's, make universally attractive human beings, get rid of sticking out ears and shut the neighbours dog up. Ask Billy Bonka, if he has finished playing Pirate he might have time to conjure up a better Bon Bon. Look, I have no recollection of creating anybody, it's a bit of a puzzle I must admit. Learn how to use sticking out ears, they are kinda fun to grab on too. Why not invite Dick Cheney around to go quail shooting he's bound to hit something, if not the dog maybe the neighbours and then they will move and the dog won't bother you anymore.

I think the NPF's have began to infiltrate my domain. Such a waste of time... This is trivial NPF-sense And distracting from carnal pleasures, the Companions of the Silk Veils are even begining to notice. Even the most talented Lady of the Back Passage and Maiden of the Silken Lips commented I seemed distracted.

The PIG KING has noticed this change in the happy lighthearted comings and goings of the Kingdom and we have been re-awakened from our reverie to deal with the evil LORD OF BLOGGS but only for his own benefit. We are concerned that the Arch Nemisis will go blind from all his occular pursuits. This would be a terrible happenstance the Kingdom does not need a Bloggy Wonder who who could only play a piano if he though it took pictures. And lets face it the PIG KING has always been the best songwriter here.

We will gather together our Fellowship of Blogg and travel to Fudge Mountain in Whoredor and make sure the evil Lord Of Blogg does not get to wear the Ring of Power absorbing the Kingdom of BloGGoBia into his world of BLOGlander!!

It will not be a pleasant journey full of pitfalls and honeytraps for the unwary. Some may not survive. But sometimes you must drop your pants or lift your skirts, unsheath your strap-on (or take it out of the draw u keep it in anyway), for freedom.

It is time to throw off the conservative shackles of the Fig Leaf and return the NPF's to the data base and filing system they come from.

Only citizens of the Kingdom of BloGGoBia may join the Fellowship of Bloggers

NO Dwarves, Elves, Gollums, Unicorns, Fuzzbittles, Raggafiddlydozits AND DEFINATELY NO Nanny Pansy Fuktards.

Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff

Petting sharks, it's the friendly thing to do.

Penguin Hunter Diaries Interfering bloody busy bodies who wanna be nannies to everyone else outa take a leaf outa their own books and shut up more often. Adventure never hurts anyone except the adventurer if it goes wrong. Apparently it is a little thing called freedom of choice. As all the highly moral, moderate living, straightlaced inhabitants of this place know ( all 3 of you ) from reading all their favorite books, The world is flat, still! Columbus, was a terrible sailor but a bloody good fiction writer and well Galleilio and Da Vinci were totally off the planet I mean imagine the Earth not being the centre of the universe what a load of bullshit! NASA is just a branch of Hollywood, you can get away with man walking on the moon but when they start having dune buggy's driving on it well come on. You try standing on a block of cheese and see what happens! As if a car can drive on cheese!?Which gets me to dolphins filthy incestuous critters into infancide who freeload feeds of fish coz they have a hole in their head and breathe so they are related to us. Yeah well so are monkeys and if they are so cute why is the 'brazillian' so popular and having a hairy back not a social turn on?! Sharks are friendly here's proof this shark was feeding of a dead whale here and this guy petted it. He still has both arms nothing was taste tested at all and you guessed it all the bloody Nanny Heads went beserk at his irresponsible behaviour and the example he was setting publicly. The poor bastard ended up doing a public apology in an interview. What a waste of valuable newsprint and air time two words would have sufficed "Intercourse" and "Off!"