Wednesday, April 18, 2007


As the self declared World Champion pumpkin grower, after washing my hands from toiling in the best pumpkin patch in the world it would be remiss of me not to pen an acceptance speech.

Big credit goes to ME for finally realising that the funny looking plants that were sprouting among my Mint were not mint which is probably why when I used them in cooking, the food did not taste 'minty' at all. Hey herbs have lots of funny looking leaves and I checked them by seeing if they smelt like mint, and they did. Admittedly sprouting among a patch of mint there was not much chance of them not.

Anyways being the inquisitive type and seeing how I did not get ill or grow hairs out my ears after eating them as failed flavouring condiments. I decided to plant them and see what happened. I am the now proud horticultural GOD OF PUMPKIN. No... please, stand erect, the genuflecting is accepted but let my false modesty reign for a little while.... That's long enough back to genuflecting now.

Not one to rest on my omnipotent laurels as GOD OF PUMPKIN the everlasting SPRITE OF CHERRY TOMATO's will now be added to my deity status. Yes, next to the sacred Pumpkin Patch is the Grove of Tomato. with so many cherry red fruits ripening that it is quite possibly going to resolve world hunger. If I was predisposed to sharing them instead of strutting around alternating Gardening Hats and rearranging hoes and rakes and stuff so it looks busy.

It is true, I have not stopped there either, embarking on creating the Compost Heap of Ascension so when the season is past the World Champion Pumpkin and Tomato plants will go there to become the base for next season.

Yes dear readers, I have created a pile of fertile crap from being dazed and confused by MINT. Which proves that crap can come from the most unexpected quarters if you look hard enough for it.

Be happy and have a great day, Get up now, genuflection can cause carpet burn and I am a kind GOD of PUMPKIN.

Thank you for your time and attention, Geoff