Sunday, April 30, 2006

Fellowship of the Bloggers

The nanny pansy fuktard race are a blight on having fun, adventure and free expression so the god wizard has decided they must be exterminated.

That was a satisfying entry into my diary yesterday. Now it may be that being informed by my courtiers that that my third favorite concubine had her post eaten by the NPF's has sparked this fit of pique. But I think that the posting of salacious details on meeting a busload of beaurocrats stranded on the roadside and plying them with intoxicants and photographing the resulting lack of responsiblity is vital to the well being of any society.

It is only through these acts that NPF's discover what fun is. Sitting on my carved crystal throne for hours on end listening to the prayers of the faithful can become dull. I'd much rather be out practising havoc and chaos. It's all far too formal separated from the supplicants by seventy seven wide spaced silk curtains unable to see anyone and hearing the prayer through speaking tubes winding to my throne room.

I wish I had put mouth pieces on my end and so tell them I have no interest in appeals for making better Bon Bon's, make universally attractive human beings, get rid of sticking out ears and shut the neighbours dog up. Ask Billy Bonka, if he has finished playing Pirate he might have time to conjure up a better Bon Bon. Look, I have no recollection of creating anybody, it's a bit of a puzzle I must admit. Learn how to use sticking out ears, they are kinda fun to grab on too. Why not invite Dick Cheney around to go quail shooting he's bound to hit something, if not the dog maybe the neighbours and then they will move and the dog won't bother you anymore.

I think the NPF's have began to infiltrate my domain. Such a waste of time... This is trivial NPF-sense And distracting from carnal pleasures, the Companions of the Silk Veils are even begining to notice. Even the most talented Lady of the Back Passage and Maiden of the Silken Lips commented I seemed distracted.

The PIG KING has noticed this change in the happy lighthearted comings and goings of the Kingdom and we have been re-awakened from our reverie to deal with the evil LORD OF BLOGGS but only for his own benefit. We are concerned that the Arch Nemisis will go blind from all his occular pursuits. This would be a terrible happenstance the Kingdom does not need a Bloggy Wonder who who could only play a piano if he though it took pictures. And lets face it the PIG KING has always been the best songwriter here.

We will gather together our Fellowship of Blogg and travel to Fudge Mountain in Whoredor and make sure the evil Lord Of Blogg does not get to wear the Ring of Power absorbing the Kingdom of BloGGoBia into his world of BLOGlander!!

It will not be a pleasant journey full of pitfalls and honeytraps for the unwary. Some may not survive. But sometimes you must drop your pants or lift your skirts, unsheath your strap-on (or take it out of the draw u keep it in anyway), for freedom.

It is time to throw off the conservative shackles of the Fig Leaf and return the NPF's to the data base and filing system they come from.

Only citizens of the Kingdom of BloGGoBia may join the Fellowship of Bloggers

NO Dwarves, Elves, Gollums, Unicorns, Fuzzbittles, Raggafiddlydozits AND DEFINATELY NO Nanny Pansy Fuktards.

Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff

Petting sharks, it's the friendly thing to do.

Penguin Hunter Diaries Interfering bloody busy bodies who wanna be nannies to everyone else outa take a leaf outa their own books and shut up more often. Adventure never hurts anyone except the adventurer if it goes wrong. Apparently it is a little thing called freedom of choice. As all the highly moral, moderate living, straightlaced inhabitants of this place know ( all 3 of you ) from reading all their favorite books, The world is flat, still! Columbus, was a terrible sailor but a bloody good fiction writer and well Galleilio and Da Vinci were totally off the planet I mean imagine the Earth not being the centre of the universe what a load of bullshit! NASA is just a branch of Hollywood, you can get away with man walking on the moon but when they start having dune buggy's driving on it well come on. You try standing on a block of cheese and see what happens! As if a car can drive on cheese!?Which gets me to dolphins filthy incestuous critters into infancide who freeload feeds of fish coz they have a hole in their head and breathe so they are related to us. Yeah well so are monkeys and if they are so cute why is the 'brazillian' so popular and having a hairy back not a social turn on?! Sharks are friendly here's proof this shark was feeding of a dead whale here and this guy petted it. He still has both arms nothing was taste tested at all and you guessed it all the bloody Nanny Heads went beserk at his irresponsible behaviour and the example he was setting publicly. The poor bastard ended up doing a public apology in an interview. What a waste of valuable newsprint and air time two words would have sufficed "Intercourse" and "Off!"

Adam Lindsay Gordon - Legend

The Penguin Hunter Diaries
Media celebrities of today are far removed from the original icons who their publicity releases try to emulate by telling how exciting and interesting actors, artists, comedians and musicians lives are.

Australia's acclaimed national Poet, Adam Lindsay Gordon did it all, the archetypical aussie hero. Larrakin, mounted trooper, horsebreaker, jockey, member of parliament and poet. Sure I'd heard the tales about his famous leap on horseback over the railing into the dormant volcano, the Blue Lake at Mount Gambier, riding his horse into hotels but never had I read or heard his verse until 1995. I was gifted a worn copy of the Poetical Works of Adam Lindsay Gordon, from the Mount Benson School Library inscribed with pen and ink and dated 24/6/1917. The preface by Marcus Clarke is about the emerging nation the man lived in and what he wrote about, sometimes. Gordon' s poetry taught me about where Patterson, Lawson, Ogilvie and Nielson came from, with their Australian poetry that followed his standard.

So instead of sitting on the fence and watching the day pass by I followed suit and decided to take the leap into the unknown, for Adam Lindsay Gordon. Which is what I usually do for myself so it wasn't that hard to do. Eleven years later the National Froth and Bubble Festival begins on the 24th of June 2006 a day of celebration to commemorate Australia's national poet. Without doubt I am not gifted with poetry, but reading a critics comments that, 'Gordon is a fourth rate poet if a poet at all.' is all the more reason to have had a crack at bringing him to the fore again. So I started writing a few columns and reviews of the man and putting his poems in magazines I was publishing on sport and art. I even penned a few poetry verses myself and stood up and performed them in clubs all the while researching his life and writing a show about him to one day perform myself.

In 2002 The Ballad of Adam Lindsay Gordon, was performed for the first time, nine shows in three days. Arty I am not, even the first show was nearly cancelled when a description of a 'blue' stand up comedy show I had done was taken to be the way the show would be. It was all sorted out with a private performance of the show which proved that what is done on stage is an act for then, not how it is always. Today, I still tour it from, Art and Folk Festivals to solo seasons of the show alone, meeting more people and entertaining them with the tale of Gordon and voicing his verse of life in Australia. In 2004 the show had been successful enough to go into a recording studio and embellish it even more with the sounds of the bush and recreating exeriences in our poets life with the benefit of talented people who can hear an idea and bring it to life with sound effects and music. One day I will go further with it and the stage show will be more like the studio cd recording with sound Fx. At the minute the show has been re-written into a radio format and is being produced with the assistance of the local ABC radio station. Adding even more to it I have now included actors to play various people who were quoted on their friend Gordon in the past for the radio production version.

In 2005 a copy of Adam Lindsay Gordon's bust was cast from the original marble one in Poet's Corner, Westminster Abbey and installed in Penola, where he was one of the town's mounted police before he went on to achieve many of his exploits in his travels living in Victoria, South Australia and Western Australia. Poetry has been surpassed as entertainment by television, radio and cinema and reigniting the celebration of the poet will not reach the thousands who used to gather at his grave site on the 24th of June, at Brighton. The Adam Lindsay Gordon Commemorative Committee (check out the Website) are for the celebrations to be anywhere Australians are to celebrate as Oscar Wilde put it. 'one of the finest singers the english language has ever known.'

'Life is mostly Froth and Bubble,
Two things stand like stone,
KINDNESS in anothers trouble,
COURAGE in your own.'
Adam Lindsay Gordon

Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff