Wednesday, January 21, 2009

BBQ rules....

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. Sadly as time progresses the historical tradition of respect and praise are forgotten. When men finally listened to women and gave them the vote and equality there were many changes to the traditions that have seen the survival of humans. From the very begining when men went out with pointy sticks to hunt mammoths for lunch to the present day it is important to retain the tales of history. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine... (1) The woman buys the food. (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert . (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part: (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE BBQ. More routine... (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery. (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he cooks the meat .
Important again: (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE BBQ AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine... (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all: (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff