Tuesday, April 17, 2007

How to shop and save your male sanity at the same time!

Some things just make me laugh usually the stupid or sublimely stupid with planning. This piece I had sent to me is one of those as these thought have crossed my mind at times and occaisionally I have done little antics in Supermarkets to amuse myself.
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband orBoyfriend along shopping . This letter was (apparently) recently sentby an unnamed supermarket' s Head Office to a customer in Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the LoyaltyCard, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning youand your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops hisantics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified byour surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them inpeople's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading tofeminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialtone, "Code 3" in housewares.. ... And watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department andtold shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and aCalor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as amirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in thehousewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where theantidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly hummingthe "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonnalook" Using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voicesagain."
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Store Manager

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