Monday, May 01, 2006
Magpies demand action on Penguin Refugee influx
The avarian world is in an uproar as the Magpies have reacted to the possible influx of Penguins seeking refugee status if mining goes ahead in Antarctica.
Sure you may say they are birds like us with feathers and wings and they have relatives here already. But a Fairy Penguin is not 1.2 metres tall and doesn't mass in huge mobs like their couzins the Emporer and Adele Penguins do. Our safety and way of life is under threat if these refugees are allowed access to our nation of native creature. Look at what happens when we allow foriegn species to exist on our land. The cane toad, water buffalo and camel are nothing but pests. Oh and the feathered pest equivalents of the Starling, Pigeon and Sparrow. No good will come of it we say.
Mind you! If we Magpies are given our identity and dignity back and the penguins replace us as the identifying totems of all fooball teams that currently abase us with using the 'magpie' image let them in we say, the more the merrier. What's that we hear? Protests that we are selfish and other native beatsies are used as totems, yeah right! The Kangaroos, Aussie rules and soccer teams, in return for that got a spot on the National Coat of Arms! With the Emu another bird that can't fly. The Kookaburra, the national hockey team, fair trade off for all the bloody songs they have about themselves. Look footy ain't rocket science, hell half of the football fraternity have problems pronouncing vowels. How about starting a national Space Program and making us Magpies the Totem Beastie for that? Yeah right can't afford it, gotta build 300 m of tram line down the middle of the mainstreet and then get better traffic and transport facilities for the crowds who go to Footy Park. Stuff it, look give us a few of these fishing boats that have been impounded and we'll go to Antarctica.
Thankyou for yor time and attention, Geoff