Sunday, April 30, 2006
Fellowship of the Bloggers
The nanny pansy fuktard race are a blight on having fun, adventure and free expression so the god wizard has decided they must be exterminated.
That was a satisfying entry into my diary yesterday. Now it may be that being informed by my courtiers that that my third favorite concubine had her post eaten by the NPF's has sparked this fit of pique. But I think that the posting of salacious details on meeting a busload of beaurocrats stranded on the roadside and plying them with intoxicants and photographing the resulting lack of responsiblity is vital to the well being of any society.
It is only through these acts that NPF's discover what fun is. Sitting on my carved crystal throne for hours on end listening to the prayers of the faithful can become dull. I'd much rather be out practising havoc and chaos. It's all far too formal separated from the supplicants by seventy seven wide spaced silk curtains unable to see anyone and hearing the prayer through speaking tubes winding to my throne room.
I wish I had put mouth pieces on my end and so tell them I have no interest in appeals for making better Bon Bon's, make universally attractive human beings, get rid of sticking out ears and shut the neighbours dog up. Ask Billy Bonka, if he has finished playing Pirate he might have time to conjure up a better Bon Bon. Look, I have no recollection of creating anybody, it's a bit of a puzzle I must admit. Learn how to use sticking out ears, they are kinda fun to grab on too. Why not invite Dick Cheney around to go quail shooting he's bound to hit something, if not the dog maybe the neighbours and then they will move and the dog won't bother you anymore.
I think the NPF's have began to infiltrate my domain. Such a waste of time... This is trivial NPF-sense And distracting from carnal pleasures, the Companions of the Silk Veils are even begining to notice. Even the most talented Lady of the Back Passage and Maiden of the Silken Lips commented I seemed distracted.
The PIG KING has noticed this change in the happy lighthearted comings and goings of the Kingdom and we have been re-awakened from our reverie to deal with the evil LORD OF BLOGGS but only for his own benefit. We are concerned that the Arch Nemisis will go blind from all his occular pursuits. This would be a terrible happenstance the Kingdom does not need a Bloggy Wonder who who could only play a piano if he though it took pictures. And lets face it the PIG KING has always been the best songwriter here.
We will gather together our Fellowship of Blogg and travel to Fudge Mountain in Whoredor and make sure the evil Lord Of Blogg does not get to wear the Ring of Power absorbing the Kingdom of BloGGoBia into his world of BLOGlander!!
It will not be a pleasant journey full of pitfalls and honeytraps for the unwary. Some may not survive. But sometimes you must drop your pants or lift your skirts, unsheath your strap-on (or take it out of the draw u keep it in anyway), for freedom.
It is time to throw off the conservative shackles of the Fig Leaf and return the NPF's to the data base and filing system they come from.
Only citizens of the Kingdom of BloGGoBia may join the Fellowship of Bloggers
NO Dwarves, Elves, Gollums, Unicorns, Fuzzbittles, Raggafiddlydozits AND DEFINATELY NO Nanny Pansy Fuktards.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff