I have been getting better at this filming hobby lately. It is great fun to do and then take all the footage and see what i can do with it. Amazing how much footage I actually shot and cut back to just 8 minute. This is my entry in the Flake Film Festival 2007. I had fun doing it and sure don't think it is the greatest thing ever but is okay for the little I know about making movies haha Enjoy.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
SHARKS NEED LOVE TOO - LIVE
Yes I know Sharks are not cute and furry like Koala's or pet Bunny rabbits. hat does not mean they don't need love too. Every view of this Video goes to me score and getting to perform on the MISS UNITY TV special in December 2007. So if you get alaugh outa me at work go to You Tube and copy and paste the link or embed the video and send it to your friends.
regards
geoff
Friday, May 18, 2007
Pole dancing ad - wowsers antsy about nothing...
http://www.crackthemyspacecode.com/?vip=2520
I watch Foxtel to avoid the never ending commercial breaks and to get a choice and variety in my viewing time. The Nando Commercial that is currently running has caught my eye as have the others over the past year or so. Simply I have no idea what Nando is!
These ads have always been quirky to my mind, given my ignorance to the product being supplied. It has resulted in me definitely able to recognise the Brand name if I ever came across it. That is what TV ads and their ilk are supposed to do, it is called Product/Brand recognition.
Today I read that there have been dozens of complaints about the current Nando commercial. This features a woman at work, pole dancing and in her off work time wearing a corporate suit and casual clothes when out to dinner with her husband/partner and children. It is an M rated commercial and is only aired after 8.30 pm.
I find this all a little bemusing there are far more explicit scenes in tv programs both visually and with language use that does not even raise a murmur in the complaints of viewers. Does this mean that tv watchers pay more attention to the commercials than the programs that are on? If so then tv programmers have done a fine job. There was the recent commercial taken off air which featured a spruiker in a rabbit costume being tripped by a rival store owner, the Insurance commercial which was taken off air for making fun of telemarketing phone calls from India, just to name a couple.
The same edition of the paper has a large article on how swearing is virtually unheeded in a current TV drama series, yet a commercial which features a mother at work and socialising with her family has created a storm in the teacup of some people. Geoff's opinion is very simple in understanding this commercial. I have worked with poledancers and strippers and socialised with them as well. This commercial actually is REAL I have seen mothers who work as pole dancers dressed in corporate suits, with their families and at work dressed in the way the ad depicts the character.
We have some seriously screwed up people living in the shoe boxes of their lives that keep the curtains drawn so they do not see outside. Reality, ladies and gentlemen is not what you dream it to be. Reality is what actually happens in the world without your conditions of right and wrong applying.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
I watch Foxtel to avoid the never ending commercial breaks and to get a choice and variety in my viewing time. The Nando Commercial that is currently running has caught my eye as have the others over the past year or so. Simply I have no idea what Nando is!
These ads have always been quirky to my mind, given my ignorance to the product being supplied. It has resulted in me definitely able to recognise the Brand name if I ever came across it. That is what TV ads and their ilk are supposed to do, it is called Product/Brand recognition.
Today I read that there have been dozens of complaints about the current Nando commercial. This features a woman at work, pole dancing and in her off work time wearing a corporate suit and casual clothes when out to dinner with her husband/partner and children. It is an M rated commercial and is only aired after 8.30 pm.
I find this all a little bemusing there are far more explicit scenes in tv programs both visually and with language use that does not even raise a murmur in the complaints of viewers. Does this mean that tv watchers pay more attention to the commercials than the programs that are on? If so then tv programmers have done a fine job. There was the recent commercial taken off air which featured a spruiker in a rabbit costume being tripped by a rival store owner, the Insurance commercial which was taken off air for making fun of telemarketing phone calls from India, just to name a couple.
The same edition of the paper has a large article on how swearing is virtually unheeded in a current TV drama series, yet a commercial which features a mother at work and socialising with her family has created a storm in the teacup of some people. Geoff's opinion is very simple in understanding this commercial. I have worked with poledancers and strippers and socialised with them as well. This commercial actually is REAL I have seen mothers who work as pole dancers dressed in corporate suits, with their families and at work dressed in the way the ad depicts the character.
We have some seriously screwed up people living in the shoe boxes of their lives that keep the curtains drawn so they do not see outside. Reality, ladies and gentlemen is not what you dream it to be. Reality is what actually happens in the world without your conditions of right and wrong applying.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
Thursday, May 10, 2007
SA WRITERS CENTRE 22nd June...Live Show
The SA Writers Centre, 2nd floor 187 Rundle Street is the venue on Friday the 22nd
of June. This is two days earlier than the 24th of June which is the officially recognised Froth and Buble Day by gordonites (fans and supporters of Australia's national Poet)
Full details of the program of events and the time this will begin (6pm tenatively at the time of writing) will be posted next week. The Melbourne Froth and Bubble event will be on the 24th of June see the official Adam Lindsay Gordon Commemorative Committee website for details - http://www.adamlindsaygordon.org
The Adelaide celebration will include a performance of the touring show The Ballad of Adam Lindsay Gordon and be the first focal point for bringing together fans and people interested in the life of Gordon in Adelaide. he city is where the poet first landed when he came to Australia and he joined the SA Mounted Police and was based in Penola. Gordon returned to Adelaide when he was elected to Parliament and lived in Glenelg he also rode the Speaker of the House's horses in races as he was still competing as a professional steeple chase jockey.
Come along and enjoy the celebrations on the 22nd and get involved with the fun and spirit of the event.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Coffee is it a food group yet!?!??!
Mis-Inspirational Message / Crack The MySpace Code
Get MORE out of your myspace comments and layouts... Click the image to find out how!
Admittedly I have managed to bring my rampant coffee addiction to a semblance of normality. Now "what is normal?" is an open ended statement. There is so many variations among our communities that it boggles the brain
even contemplating the "NORM" let alone saying that I have attained a sense of normality on something with a spectrum as wide as coffee consumption.
I have no concerns about my awareness and so my own opinion will suffice. For the past month I have been getting through my usual 18 hr days with between 3-5 mugs of coffee a day. Prior to this I was drinking 10-12 mugs of fresh ground plunger coffee a day. I decided that as much as I love coffee this was too much and it was probably giving those much abused internal organs of mine Mr Liver and the Twins Kidney stretch marks that they really don't need.
I even went as far as buying a tin of instant coffee as well so my current 3-5 mugs a day includes the powdered street dirt version of coffee as well!
Have I noticed any difference in this reduction/ I am happy to say yes. I sleep a bit sounder and don't wake up feeling edgy, I do notice a marked decrease in my work output though. This is disconcerting to say the least yet I still get my work done and create just as much but over a longer period of time.
Yet all in all I do not know if this current coffeee consumtion is better for me or not!? Quite puzzling in fact I have no cravings for coffeeas i used to but have no idea if it has mmade a difference in my comfort and quality of life hhaha.
I am choosing to believe that it is good for me and will happily stick with my self deception coz it suits me at the minute to believe so.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
Friday, May 04, 2007
Official Gordon site lists Geoff's CD
After 5 years of touring the live show The Ballad of Adam Lindsay Gordon and seeing and being part of raising the profile of Australia's acclaimed national poet, today was a bonus for me.
With preparations for this years Froth and Bubble Day celebrations well under way for the 24th of June the Adam Lindsay Gordon Commemorative Committee has listed the cd of the show on their memorabillia and store page.
The Committee site is a great research tool for anyone wanting to know more about Gordon with a huge selection of documentation and knowledge available and a good easy introduction to the poet for the casual browser.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
With preparations for this years Froth and Bubble Day celebrations well under way for the 24th of June the Adam Lindsay Gordon Commemorative Committee has listed the cd of the show on their memorabillia and store page.
The Committee site is a great research tool for anyone wanting to know more about Gordon with a huge selection of documentation and knowledge available and a good easy introduction to the poet for the casual browser.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
When No-One remembered ANZAC day...
Not that long ago I was one of the handful of people who went each year to remember the fallen on ANZAC day. There would be the Returned Servicemen marching down the quiet street to the Robe war memorial and a group of ten if that, people waiting for them to arrive and the commemoration service to begin! That was in 1974-76.
Today I was out working, delivering the newspapers and noticed the large number of vehicles driving into and around the town on their way to Victoria Street from 6.00am to gather for the 6.45am march to the memorial of the fallen in two world wars and following conflicts Australian's have served in.
Fortunately I only have one pass down Victoria Street and that is early in the newspaper delivery round at 6.15am. By then the street was already filled with cars parked almost the entire length from the RSL to the Memorial on both sides, at least a kilometre! And there were people lining the footpaths to watch the returned service men and women march past and follow behind them.
My memory went back to the 1970's when that street was so empty I used to walk alongside the service men to the memorial. Except for one or two war widows I'd notice. One was an occaisional teacher at my school and she used to wait on the last street corner before the memorial then she would follow for the service.
As the men got to her corner there was a subtle straightening of the backs and the steps were all in time and the solemnity of ANZAC DAY was observed in it's spirit of remembrance.
Today I wondered if some of those men who have been doing that ANZAC DAY march over the past 30 plus years had any thought of the many years they marched along an empty street with no company except their fellow marchers and the memory of the fallen? Yet today, they marched down the same country town street filled with people to follow them to the service to commemorate the fallen.
William Charles Henry Dening; Killed in Action - World War I
LEST WE FORGET
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
Today I was out working, delivering the newspapers and noticed the large number of vehicles driving into and around the town on their way to Victoria Street from 6.00am to gather for the 6.45am march to the memorial of the fallen in two world wars and following conflicts Australian's have served in.
Fortunately I only have one pass down Victoria Street and that is early in the newspaper delivery round at 6.15am. By then the street was already filled with cars parked almost the entire length from the RSL to the Memorial on both sides, at least a kilometre! And there were people lining the footpaths to watch the returned service men and women march past and follow behind them.
My memory went back to the 1970's when that street was so empty I used to walk alongside the service men to the memorial. Except for one or two war widows I'd notice. One was an occaisional teacher at my school and she used to wait on the last street corner before the memorial then she would follow for the service.
As the men got to her corner there was a subtle straightening of the backs and the steps were all in time and the solemnity of ANZAC DAY was observed in it's spirit of remembrance.
Today I wondered if some of those men who have been doing that ANZAC DAY march over the past 30 plus years had any thought of the many years they marched along an empty street with no company except their fellow marchers and the memory of the fallen? Yet today, they marched down the same country town street filled with people to follow them to the service to commemorate the fallen.
William Charles Henry Dening; Killed in Action - World War I
LEST WE FORGET
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
Monday, April 23, 2007
Blogging or MySpace! You need help if you say YES to 3 of these...LoL
ADDICTED TO MYSPACE?!?!
You know your addicted to Myspace when:
1. You are at a bar or club and you suddenly realize you recognize someone. You can't figure out how and then it dawns on you... You have never met this person before, but have spent a considerable amount of time looking at their Myspace.
2. After meeting someone your conversation somehow leads to - "So, are you on Myspace?"
3. You do not call people anymore, you post comments and send messages through Myspace
4. When talking about one of your friends you just refer to them as 'Brandonisforlovers' rather than their real name.
5. When you're out with friends and you take a good picture you exclaim loudly, "That's going on Myspace!"
6. Conversations with friends tend to lead to, "Did you read that bulletin/comment/ or see that new picture 'Cuddlemaria' left?"
7. You check your Myspace as soon as you wake up, and right before you go to bed, including the 10 times you check it during the day
8. You know people who have gotten offended about the Top 8.
9. You start off intending to check if you have new messages/comments but find AN HOUR LATER that you are still on and have no idea what you even accomplished during that time except stalk.
Get more cool bulletins and make money on MySpace at...
CrackTheMySpaceCode.com<">
You know your addicted to Myspace when:
1. You are at a bar or club and you suddenly realize you recognize someone. You can't figure out how and then it dawns on you... You have never met this person before, but have spent a considerable amount of time looking at their Myspace.
2. After meeting someone your conversation somehow leads to - "So, are you on Myspace?"
3. You do not call people anymore, you post comments and send messages through Myspace
4. When talking about one of your friends you just refer to them as 'Brandonisforlovers' rather than their real name.
5. When you're out with friends and you take a good picture you exclaim loudly, "That's going on Myspace!"
6. Conversations with friends tend to lead to, "Did you read that bulletin/comment/ or see that new picture 'Cuddlemaria' left?"
7. You check your Myspace as soon as you wake up, and right before you go to bed, including the 10 times you check it during the day
8. You know people who have gotten offended about the Top 8.
9. You start off intending to check if you have new messages/comments but find AN HOUR LATER that you are still on and have no idea what you even accomplished during that time except stalk.
Get more cool bulletins and make money on MySpace at...
CrackTheMySpaceCode.com<">
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Librals declare war on climate LMAO....
It began with the evil Climate making children jump off jetties, breaking the law with this dangerous practise and defying Law and Order. Our pollies have taken this into account, knowing that law and order are important issues among electors. With the new party leader and his military qualifications the current opposition have now Declared War On the Climate!!!!
The front line of this battle is obviously high above the planet surface at the Hole in the Ozone Layer and the benefits of the employment opportunities and manufacturing boom that confronting the enemy have been lept upon by the Liberals to retain the political leadership of South Australia.
Welfare recipients will be offered a selection of employment positions, From troops at the fore front of this battle, Manufacturing positions at Mitsubishi and GMH constructing the launch capsules for the troops, or Woomera constructing state of the art delivery systems also known as catapults to delivery the troop capsules to the Hole in the Ozone Layer Front. Refusal to accept and participate will have their welfare payments suspended. Charges will also be laid against the reluctant for this suspicious behavior in declining to support the safety of the State, Nation and World in this battle against the evil Climate.
The elite of society of course will not be expected to join the ranks of the common Ozone Hole battle fodder. The Saint's boys will be inducted into their own exclusive regiments with better hats and stylish uniforms and a special edition camouflage Old School Tie.. Unlike the regular troops who will be launched into the atmosphere inside their individual battle capsules. Saints boys will be launched astride their capsules waving their loaded champagne cocktails into the Ozone Hole breach. Coz this will look much more heroic with the feathered plumes in their hats as they rocket skywards. This is not favoritism but a logical choice as the years of training put into this heroic duty has been done at Oakbank by the private schoolies has shown their apptitude for this duty.
The exact number of holes has not been defined yet so advance parties will be sent on recon. missions so a battle campaign can be mapped out that will deliver the strategic goal the State needs. The re-election of the Liberal Party to power, oh and of course to fix the Ecological Damage and defeat the evil Climate.
We at the Penguin Hunter Diaries will embed our journalists with the troops and keep you informed with the battle details and progress to victory.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
The front line of this battle is obviously high above the planet surface at the Hole in the Ozone Layer and the benefits of the employment opportunities and manufacturing boom that confronting the enemy have been lept upon by the Liberals to retain the political leadership of South Australia.
Welfare recipients will be offered a selection of employment positions, From troops at the fore front of this battle, Manufacturing positions at Mitsubishi and GMH constructing the launch capsules for the troops, or Woomera constructing state of the art delivery systems also known as catapults to delivery the troop capsules to the Hole in the Ozone Layer Front. Refusal to accept and participate will have their welfare payments suspended. Charges will also be laid against the reluctant for this suspicious behavior in declining to support the safety of the State, Nation and World in this battle against the evil Climate.
The elite of society of course will not be expected to join the ranks of the common Ozone Hole battle fodder. The Saint's boys will be inducted into their own exclusive regiments with better hats and stylish uniforms and a special edition camouflage Old School Tie.. Unlike the regular troops who will be launched into the atmosphere inside their individual battle capsules. Saints boys will be launched astride their capsules waving their loaded champagne cocktails into the Ozone Hole breach. Coz this will look much more heroic with the feathered plumes in their hats as they rocket skywards. This is not favoritism but a logical choice as the years of training put into this heroic duty has been done at Oakbank by the private schoolies has shown their apptitude for this duty.
The exact number of holes has not been defined yet so advance parties will be sent on recon. missions so a battle campaign can be mapped out that will deliver the strategic goal the State needs. The re-election of the Liberal Party to power, oh and of course to fix the Ecological Damage and defeat the evil Climate.
We at the Penguin Hunter Diaries will embed our journalists with the troops and keep you informed with the battle details and progress to victory.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
Friday, April 20, 2007
Rupert Murdoch the early years...
Apologies are not my forte yet in this case I am really sorry as generally speaking my nation has never done anything particularly bad to anyone Else's country. Our major daily newspaper in South Australia is the first that this fella Rupert Murdock owned so we have been suffering for a long time and if the rest of the world will forgive us here in Australia as there is only 20 million of us so we exported him! First to England because that is a good place to return the favour after all, the Poms started it all by transporting all their convicts to Oz 200 years ago and we wanted to get back at them. How the heck were we to know that Rupert would bloody well prosper in England.
Cunning as a Fox the wily Rupert, he is responsible for many travesties, the Titanic, invading Iraq and the Simpson's. Hang-on the Simpson's are a good thing so one out of three is not too bad. That Titanic, damn me how many times does that ship have to sink!? And what about the Iceberg has anyone ever considered the ecological damage the ship did to that innocent piece of ice which was happily floating along minding it's own business as icebergs do when WHAM!!! a great speeding steel liner slams into it!. Thousands of homeless penguins, walruses and seals bruised and battered by the impact and was there a massive fundraiser for them, an out pouring of sympathy and grief for the injured and maimed? NO!! Poor bloody seals unless they are cute, fluffy white ones that make good hats and coats no-one gives a damn. That bloody Rupert Murdoch has a lot to answer for.
Cunning as a Fox the wily Rupert, he is responsible for many travesties, the Titanic, invading Iraq and the Simpson's. Hang-on the Simpson's are a good thing so one out of three is not too bad. That Titanic, damn me how many times does that ship have to sink!? And what about the Iceberg has anyone ever considered the ecological damage the ship did to that innocent piece of ice which was happily floating along minding it's own business as icebergs do when WHAM!!! a great speeding steel liner slams into it!. Thousands of homeless penguins, walruses and seals bruised and battered by the impact and was there a massive fundraiser for them, an out pouring of sympathy and grief for the injured and maimed? NO!! Poor bloody seals unless they are cute, fluffy white ones that make good hats and coats no-one gives a damn. That bloody Rupert Murdoch has a lot to answer for.
Thankyou for your time and attention, Geoff
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Cat Hunting season begins...
It's CAT season....
Cats, there are two types of cats Big Cats and Little Cats. Basically they do nothing except eat, lie around, breed, eat some more, lie around some more and breed some more. Fine, if you are a cat.
Cats do nothing worthwhile in return for humans, ever heard of a cat making a scientific break through? Saving a life? Wouldn't matter if you did anyway because what one cat does is irrelevant to what cats do in general.
What do cats eat? Meat, and when the little pet cats are feeding, they still eat meat which they go and hunt! Although it is usually served up by the cat's trained human. Now Big Cats eat meat too and what are people made up of? Meat and crunchy bits, as far as Big Cats are concerned people are just food not in a can and given a chance, even to little cats we are lunch.
In no way should cats be confused with the vernacular for vagina, 'Pussy' which probably comes from the same perspective in naming. "Pussy's" eat meat too just with less teeth.
So to save myself and others from becoming lunch it is Geoff's Cat Hunting Season.
The Cats are running scared so early in the campaign. The first sign of the typical Cat cowardice is the speed at which they run away and cower in guilt. Or perhaps it is just hunger pangs and they are waiting for dinner.
Now they know how all those poor little birdies feel when being batted about by Cats playing with their food. And seeing how well pet Cats get fed there is no need to even pick on the poor defenceless little cutie birdies.
Thank you for your time and attention, Geoff
Cats, there are two types of cats Big Cats and Little Cats. Basically they do nothing except eat, lie around, breed, eat some more, lie around some more and breed some more. Fine, if you are a cat.
Cats do nothing worthwhile in return for humans, ever heard of a cat making a scientific break through? Saving a life? Wouldn't matter if you did anyway because what one cat does is irrelevant to what cats do in general.
What do cats eat? Meat, and when the little pet cats are feeding, they still eat meat which they go and hunt! Although it is usually served up by the cat's trained human. Now Big Cats eat meat too and what are people made up of? Meat and crunchy bits, as far as Big Cats are concerned people are just food not in a can and given a chance, even to little cats we are lunch.
In no way should cats be confused with the vernacular for vagina, 'Pussy' which probably comes from the same perspective in naming. "Pussy's" eat meat too just with less teeth.
So to save myself and others from becoming lunch it is Geoff's Cat Hunting Season.
The Cats are running scared so early in the campaign. The first sign of the typical Cat cowardice is the speed at which they run away and cower in guilt. Or perhaps it is just hunger pangs and they are waiting for dinner.
Now they know how all those poor little birdies feel when being batted about by Cats playing with their food. And seeing how well pet Cats get fed there is no need to even pick on the poor defenceless little cutie birdies.
Thank you for your time and attention, Geoff
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
WORLD CHAMPION PUMPKIN GROWER, yes I am!!!
As the self declared World Champion pumpkin grower, after washing my hands from toiling in the best pumpkin patch in the world it would be remiss of me not to pen an acceptance speech.
Big credit goes to ME for finally realising that the funny looking plants that were sprouting among my Mint were not mint which is probably why when I used them in cooking, the food did not taste 'minty' at all. Hey herbs have lots of funny looking leaves and I checked them by seeing if they smelt like mint, and they did. Admittedly sprouting among a patch of mint there was not much chance of them not.
Anyways being the inquisitive type and seeing how I did not get ill or grow hairs out my ears after eating them as failed flavouring condiments. I decided to plant them and see what happened. I am the now proud horticultural GOD OF PUMPKIN. No... please, stand erect, the genuflecting is accepted but let my false modesty reign for a little while.... That's long enough back to genuflecting now.
Not one to rest on my omnipotent laurels as GOD OF PUMPKIN the everlasting SPRITE OF CHERRY TOMATO's will now be added to my deity status. Yes, next to the sacred Pumpkin Patch is the Grove of Tomato. with so many cherry red fruits ripening that it is quite possibly going to resolve world hunger. If I was predisposed to sharing them instead of strutting around alternating Gardening Hats and rearranging hoes and rakes and stuff so it looks busy.
It is true, I have not stopped there either, embarking on creating the Compost Heap of Ascension so when the season is past the World Champion Pumpkin and Tomato plants will go there to become the base for next season.
Yes dear readers, I have created a pile of fertile crap from being dazed and confused by MINT. Which proves that crap can come from the most unexpected quarters if you look hard enough for it.
Be happy and have a great day, Get up now, genuflection can cause carpet burn and I am a kind GOD of PUMPKIN.
Thank you for your time and attention, Geoff
Big credit goes to ME for finally realising that the funny looking plants that were sprouting among my Mint were not mint which is probably why when I used them in cooking, the food did not taste 'minty' at all. Hey herbs have lots of funny looking leaves and I checked them by seeing if they smelt like mint, and they did. Admittedly sprouting among a patch of mint there was not much chance of them not.
Anyways being the inquisitive type and seeing how I did not get ill or grow hairs out my ears after eating them as failed flavouring condiments. I decided to plant them and see what happened. I am the now proud horticultural GOD OF PUMPKIN. No... please, stand erect, the genuflecting is accepted but let my false modesty reign for a little while.... That's long enough back to genuflecting now.
Not one to rest on my omnipotent laurels as GOD OF PUMPKIN the everlasting SPRITE OF CHERRY TOMATO's will now be added to my deity status. Yes, next to the sacred Pumpkin Patch is the Grove of Tomato. with so many cherry red fruits ripening that it is quite possibly going to resolve world hunger. If I was predisposed to sharing them instead of strutting around alternating Gardening Hats and rearranging hoes and rakes and stuff so it looks busy.
It is true, I have not stopped there either, embarking on creating the Compost Heap of Ascension so when the season is past the World Champion Pumpkin and Tomato plants will go there to become the base for next season.
Yes dear readers, I have created a pile of fertile crap from being dazed and confused by MINT. Which proves that crap can come from the most unexpected quarters if you look hard enough for it.
Be happy and have a great day, Get up now, genuflection can cause carpet burn and I am a kind GOD of PUMPKIN.
Thank you for your time and attention, Geoff
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
How to shop and save your male sanity at the same time!
Some things just make me laugh usually the stupid or sublimely stupid with planning. This piece I had sent to me is one of those as these thought have crossed my mind at times and occaisionally I have done little antics in Supermarkets to amuse myself.
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband orBoyfriend along shopping . This letter was (apparently) recently sentby an unnamed supermarket' s Head Office to a customer in Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the LoyaltyCard, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning youand your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops hisantics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified byour surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them inpeople's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading tofeminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialtone, "Code 3" in housewares.. ... And watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department andtold shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and aCalor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as amirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in thehousewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where theantidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly hummingthe "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonnalook" Using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voicesagain."
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Store Manager
Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband orBoyfriend along shopping . This letter was (apparently) recently sentby an unnamed supermarket' s Head Office to a customer in Oxford:
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the LoyaltyCard, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning youand your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops hisantics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified byour surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them inpeople's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading tofeminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialtone, "Code 3" in housewares.. ... And watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department andtold shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and aCalor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as amirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in thehousewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where theantidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly hummingthe "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the "Madonnalook" Using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed,yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voicesagain."
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here."
Yours sincerely,
Store Manager
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